it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize