My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
