I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
