I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She bit a glass in half.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize