having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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