in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
false alarm, still single
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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