I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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