I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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