HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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