So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
