At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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