I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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