just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
