Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
