I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize