watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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