if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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