Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
