how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
