dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
