It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
