the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
