If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
