are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
