That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
No subtext here. People are naked.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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