I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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