HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
