I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
one might say we're banned from that church
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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