I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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