I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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