I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
