It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
