Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
