Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
