our cab driver is having phone sex.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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