shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
