Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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