im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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