You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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