sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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