I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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