their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
