My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
