Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
