He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The struggles of a small town man whore
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
dude. I can hear the air.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
