apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
