Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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