i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
