ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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