Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
