Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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