ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
