wakey wakey hands off snakey
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
ugly people sure do ruin things
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
