Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
How does it feel to date your dad?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
