His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
