I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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