So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
