I will die if light touches me.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
