Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize