Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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