Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
