this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
