He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
