are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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