so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
