i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
