I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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