We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
