I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
