Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Randomize