i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
