addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
