put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
