ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
