I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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