Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
