i barfeds in our rink
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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