oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
