accomplished twins. life is a go
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize